the price we have to pay

[Note: this is sort of a mashup of some of the ideas in our readings. I’m not at all meaning to make fun of Apotemnophilia, but rather to play around with some of the ideas we have been discussing, playing off the struggle between individual and society]

But that’s the price we have to pay for stability. You’ve got to choose between happiness and what people used to call high art. We’ve sacrificed the high art.
(BNW 150)
___________________________________

THE JOURNAL OF SOCIAL-SCIENTIFIC JOURNALING

LABORPHOBIA: a disorder

Introduction
Disorders that straddle the border between physiology, psychiatry, and sociology are of special interest to scholars in each of these disciplines. One example is Laborphobia (from the latin root ‘labor’: toil, trouble) in which otherwise sane and rational individuals express a strong and specific desire for the amputation of their duties to work. Most date this desire to their childhood and, not uncommonly, the sufferer will attempt to avoid employment altogether.

Symptoms of this disorder include (but are not exclusive to) the following:

inability to wake with an alarm clock
unable to take directives from a boss
lack of interest in completing tasks for material incentives
lack of concern for punishment from boss, God, or other superior for spending time not-working
breaking out into hives or rashes upon receiving a work schedule
periods of dark depression when following a routine
intense physical pain experienced while engaged in tasks related to customer service, clerical, or any other sort of….work

As few government bodies are willing to accept this inability to labor as a reason to give medical or monetary assistance, these people often live in precarious situations, unable to meet their basic needs even while employed, as the distress they experience interferes with their ability to make decisions or experience joy. We propose that a governmental amputation of their requirement to work (to earn the resources to meet their basic needs) will result in a complete and lasting cure of their mental distress. It will also work to remedy the resultant societal stigma of not punching the clock/attempting to increase one’s economic status.

Methods
We tested our conjecture on two individuals with Laborphobia. Ethical approval from the local institutional review board and signed consent forms from the patients was obtained. A tiny mental examination was administered and they both were emotionally and intellectually normal or above, as judged by their ability to converse and interact appropriately. Each firmly believes, from his deepest conviction, that he needs to enjoy life NOW, with leisurely activities, in order to really feel that he can be himself. There is no need felt to participate in today’s consumer culture, nor to contribute to the tax base. He may exert effort towards a particular end, but not as an employee or in the form of a boring, repetitive task. This is something each remembers feeling from an early age; he does not remember feeling otherwise.

In the past there was speculation that these subjects had parents who chose not to be employed (thus setting a poor example). Other conjectures were that the subjects are simply lazy, or went to primary schools which did not properly reinforce the value of labor with rewards such as gold stars. However, we have 1 out of 2 subjects that did attend schools with not only gold stars, but cookies and extra trips to the playground. The other subject had parents who each worked 2 or more jobs. However the ability to labor is still non-existent. Clearly this is abnormal and indicates a deviant organ or chemical structure.

Several tests were performed, applying Ag-AgCl electrodes near their hearts and their minds and at the tips of their toes. No activity was registered when they read phrases such as, “Time to go to work” or “You’re getting a raise” or “You’re hired.” However, high activity was documented upon reading the phrase “You’re fired”, and the greatest Chart of Well-being was recorded upon viewing pictures of leisure activities such as frisbee golf and inner-tube floating, or pictures of people working randomly on interesting activities, on a varied schedule of their choosing. Blood pressure rates were dangerously high in the first three scenarios, and at a low-normal level in the latter scenarios, suggesting the the mere mention of labor causes the vessels to contract in a pathogenic manner. Muscle tension increased with an image of a paystub, but relaxed at the mention of reading poetry or strumming a guitar.

Discussion
We have no doubt that what we are recommending is the correct thing for these patients: they should be freed from the requirement to work or pay taxes. They should be allowed comfortable living conditions and leisurely lifestyles. Psychotherapy doesn’t make a scrap of difference in these people. You can talk till the cows come home; it doesn’t make any difference. Drugs simply mask their symptoms and prolong their despair, further keeping them from themselves. These subjects cannot go to work without harm. Forcing them to go to work is a potentially fatal endeavor. This is not simply a self-indulgent tendency, or merely wishful thinking. Our subjects have a genetic defect which predisposes them to ripping off the reigns of employment. Living in a society with strong Puritan roots is of further detriment to these patients. Recognition of their condition is all the more imperative to get them the help they need to manage their defect, and ward off the arrows slung at them by the working world. We also must distinguish their condition from that of the average person to avoid a spread of the idea of non-working as a non-disordered behavior.



(phrases borrowed and modified from: Better than Well, Carl Elliot; Apotemnophelia: a neurological disorder, Brang, McGeoch, Ramachandran; Brave New World, Alduous Huxley; The Politics of Biological Determinism, R.C. Lewontin)